


never thought that you would be standing here so close to me

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Slow Dancing, They deserve a happy ending, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23719558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: steve had gone back. bucky tried to tell himself to accept it, steve would probably stay in the past, it went without saying. but oh boy he was wrong.this is so self indulgent, i've had the idea for this particular dialogue for a while and now i finally have the time to write it!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 5
Kudos: 103





	never thought that you would be standing here so close to me

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on here! (not my first fic ever though ahah). i'm STILL not over endgame so i'm writing this for self care, please let me know what you think of it! (also Nat and Tony are alive because i said so)

Steve was leaving. Five. Four. Three. Two...

He would be back, that's what Steve had told him but Bucky knew him too well. One. Steve had left. It was inevitable, really. Steve's self sacrificial streak was a mile long and now he'd finally reached the end. Bucky knew he should be happy for him. Bucky knew that Steve deserved to settle down. Bucky knew that Steve should get to be with her. With Peggy. Have kids, get a normal job and live a normal life. Bucky knew that he should want that for Steve. That didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell.

He would soon find out if his hunch was correct. Steve was due back any second now if Bruce's calculations were correct (and they always were). 

"Three! Two! One!"

Nothing.

Waiting...

"Bruce where the fuck is he?" shouted Sam, Bruce replied, equally as loud. But Bucky couldn't make out what it was. It was like he had suddenly and harshly had his head shoved underwater, the cold reality hitting him and knocking all the air out of his lungs. Bucky felt empty. 

The portal- time travel- machine thing, whatever it was, started to spark and sputter, Bruce at the control panel looked panicked, fiddling desperately with different buttons and levers.  
"What's wrong?" Bucky managed to speak, his throat feeling raw, holding back tears he hadn't even realised were trying to burst.  
"I'm trying to fix it! He's gone off schedule, I have no idea what he's doing in there!" 

Then Bucky was right. Of course he was, he knew Steve better than he knew himself sometimes. He tried to tell himself that Steve still cared about him, that he cared about him the same way Bucky cared about Steve. But that was impossible, Bucky cared about Steve the way he knew he shouldn't, especially after all these years. He'd never said it out loud or even let himself linger on the thought for a second too long incase it became too real; but Steve leaving for good gave him clarity he hadn't had before.

He was desperately, completely, in love with his best friend.

He had been for a long time, maybe since Steve managed to break through years of brainwashing and torture with only a few words. Maybe since Steve rescued him from Hydra the very first time, the serum and his new body letting Steve sweep Bucky into his arms and carry him out of there like he weighed nothing. Maybe it was when they were just kids in Brooklyn and Bucky spent days by Steve's bedside, waiting anxiously for his best friend to get better. 

Another shout from Sam snapped Bucky out of his self pitying daydream. Then a crash. More sparks, a woop of joy from Bruce, maybe Sam, Bucky didnt know. And then. Then...

Steve. God, he looked like shit, a gash up one side of his face, and suit covered in ash. But he was here. He was back. He hadn't left Bucky. He couldn't help himself from running over to the platform and holding Steve tight, mumbling into his shoulder,  
"You okay Stevie?"  
"Yeah I'm okay, I'm okay Buck".

Bucky hugged him tighter, like Steve would disappear into thin air if Bucky ever let him go.  
"Thought you'd left for good" Bucky said, still holding back those tears. Steve pulled away and looked at Bucky, his eyes gentle, no pain in them anymore.  
"Could never leave my best guy, end of the line, you know that" he said quietly. 

They both stood up as Sam and Bruce walked over to check for themselves if Steve was okay, Bruce apologising profusely, trying to explain what went wrong, though it seemed he didn't really know. Steve stopped him mid sentence.  
"Bruce it's fine, I stopped off somewhere, there was someone I had to talk to, sorry for throwing off the timing and all, it wasn't your fault, and I'm back now, don't worry about it" he smiled and Bruce visibly relaxed, hugging Steve and then going back to the controls. Sam smiled, told Steve he was glad he was alright then left himself, muttering something about meeting Natasha. 

Then Steve turned to Bucky again, "Come with me Buck, I should tell you. No, I need to tell you why, I guess, I didnt come back straight away". They walked together to the lakeside in comfortable silence, sitting down on a bench by the water. 

"I was gonna come back straight away, but, when I saw Peggy again I just had to talk to her. Had to ask her something, I made sure no one else was there, that she wouldn't tell anyone she'd seen me and then I told her what the hell I was doing there. And Buck, I- told. Shit. I told her to move on, she wondered, y'know, if I could go back again and we could have a life together and all that. I told her..I told her I couldn't..That I'd realised something. She was very understanding, and when I told her why, God, she started tearing up and then I did and we were just sat there. Can you imagine us Buck! Crying over all the shit we've had to go through" 

Bucky was confused to say the least. Steve continued.

"And then, yeah, so then I told her what had happened after I got out of the ice, and about you, about how somehow, through death, through another bloody war, through everything we found each other again. How I couldn't leave you." 

Silence, stunned silence.

"What do you mean, Stevie?"

"I mean you're the one Buck, fuck, I'm in love with you, head over heels, utterly in love with you, I've been an idiot. Can't believe it took me this long to figure it out."

The tears couldn't be stopped anymore, Bucky was in shock, it felt like he was really awake, like all of his life he'd been half asleep, chasing after something he could never have, a dream-like state of being where everything was just out of his reach. But now it was all right in front of him, so he reached out, took his entire world in his hands and pressed his lips to Steve's. A hundred years of pain and loss, love and memories in one kiss.

And Steve kissed him back, holding onto Bucky's shoulders, then moving to his hair, running his fingers through it, then to his face, to his waist, holding him.

Bucky pulled away gasping for breath.

"I love you too, always have, always will"

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The Avengers base had to be rebuilt, it was going to take a while, at least half a year even with a massive team and all Tony's inventions. In the meantime Steve and Bucky were staying in a small apartment in Brooklyn, similar to the one they used to have (bigger, cleaner, a tv and hot water, but still similar). Steve was at home, Bucky had gone out to the shops to grab something for dinner.

It had been three weeks since Steve came back for good. Moving in together wasn't some momentous occasion, they'd lived together most of their lives. Bucky would be home any minute. 

The click of a key in the lock signalled his arrival, the push of a door revealed the most beautiful man Steve had ever seen in his life, cheeks flushed from the wind outside and hair messy. 

"Got pasta" smiled Bucky, dumping a shopping bag on the kitchen counter, he took off his coat and came up to Steve; he wrapped his arms around him and kissed him on the lips, Steve kissed back slowly. The evening light shone through the thin curtains, casting soft shadows of the two men in the room. Steve moved away, leaning his forehead in to rest against Bucky's. 

"Feels like we've been through hell and back to find each other" Steve said softly, "think we veterans deserve a break".

"Definitely" replied Bucky.

"Buck, dance with me?"

"Thought you'd never ask." 

Steve reached over to turn the record player on, playing a song they both knew well, a song that was theirs. 

Starting to sway gently, Steve's hands on Bucky's waist, Bucky's arms over Steve's shoulders. They were smiling at each other as the lyrics started.

_Never thought that you would be standing here so close to me..._

It was true, those words. It seemed impossible. They'd managed it somehow and here they were. 

Two boys dancing in their apartment. Peacefully in love.


End file.
